Self-love and self-care seem to be the “it” thing nowadays. But what do self-love and self-care entail? How do you know if you are doing it correctly?
When asking yourself, “Do I love myself?” You will likely quickly respond, “Yes, of course, I do!” I have found that this may not be the right question to ask, and maybe you should ask some of the following:
- How can I extend kindness to myself?
- In what ways can I treat myself better?
- How can I practice and cultivate self-love and self-care?
- Do I know my worth and that I am a powerful being?
Why ask these questions instead of, “Do I love myself?” Because, in most instances, it is not a matter of if you love yourself or not. It is more so making sure you do not neglect yourself. Are you answering the call to treat yourself better, or are you letting that call roll over to voicemail? We all can be guilty of extending compassion, love, and understanding to others but often forget to extend those same things to ourselves.
Most of us have a general idea or passed-on beliefs of what we know love to be. As we grow, learn, unlearn, and learn again, our definition of love changes, and so do our needs. In adulthood, you discover you cannot give what you do not have. You also become aware that what you illuminate in the world is what you attract back. So you want to make sure you attract good to you.
So how do you know if you’re doing this self-love or self-care thing right? Well, in all honesty, there is no right or wrong way. It is going to look different for everyone because we all have different needs. We are on our own individual journeys. What feels right and good to you may not be the same for someone else. Don’t overthink it. But do think about this:
- How do I want to treat myself?
- What makes me feel happy, content, and at peace?
- What activities and people are uplifting to me?
- What things could I dedicate as my “me time?”
- What boundaries are needed to ensure I am loving and caring for myself?
Think about it, and then do it. Self-help books, seminars, retreats, and advice from others are just added bonuses. They are good to help get you started but are not needed. Practicing self-care and self-love doesn’t mean you have to go broke to do so or do the most infeasible thing. It does not make you wrong if you decide that is not what you need. You may decide that all you need is time to journal, a walk in the neighborhood, or quiet time by the lake to read and center your thinking. It is okay to be open to trying any suggestions given. But you also have the authority to be spontaneous and creative. Make a list, be creative, and try those things you come up with. If that is too much pressure, don’t be afraid to just wing it!
Your way is just fine. Live by your own rules. The opinion that you value the most of yourself should be that of your own…think well.
Intuitive Intuition 