“How do I create my Happily Ever After?” Finding the solution to this question can be tricky when you’re impacted by many things. Between childhood trauma, life lessons, heartbreak, daily stressors, and other life events, you can be left to feel as if you don’t have much of a choice at all. Suddenly, being happy has become a difficult decision to make. Being at the mercy of your circumstances has taken over. Before you know it, you’re sending out invitations to your misery party. It’s unimportant to you who comes, just as long as someone is there. Complaining and venting to whoever will listen is your go-to, and you avoid individuals who will tell you what you need. You readily have a list of excuses as to why therapy isn’t a feasible option, but indulgence in toxic behavior, self-medicating, and other addictions are justified.
Denial and being in fear can be a torturous yet familiar and comfortable place. Gradually, your happiness has become contingent upon what is occurring around you. You have relinquished the power that happiness is a manifestation from within. You now possess the false belief you would be happy if you had the perfect relationship. You would be happy if you had a better job and made more money. You would be happy if you lived in a better house or if the family drama was eliminated. I will be the first to tell you it’s not wrong to want these things. You should desire better for yourself. But these things should not be the source of your happiness. Instead, anything outside of you should be an added bonus to the joy you’ve already created for yourself. These things are all circumstantial, temporary, and fluent— forever changing. Relying on external forces to bring you happiness causes happiness to become a high you are constantly chasing after. When you chase after happiness, it is no longer attainable. Pursuing happiness reduces it to a fixated idea instead of a thing that just is.
So, we’re back to the original question, “how do I create my Happily Ever After?”
I would argue that the first key to happiness is acknowledging and dealing with your feelings. All of your emotions are valid, yes, even the negative ones. To create a happy life, you want to appropriately confront and process your feelings. Avoid “toxic positivity.” Nothing is perfect 100% of the time. The second key would be to have a healthy balance in your life, such as a healthy work-life balance or a healthy friend-significant other balance. Everything doesn’t have to be work, work, work; however, neither is life all play. Stay committed and focused on your goals but allow yourself to break away when needed. A third key I would suggest is to surround yourself with those who have happy lives. Seek out individuals who deal with situations healthily and maturely. Converse with those who do not engage in gossip and use their words to add value to conversations, uplift others, and provide sound advice. Remove those around you who have made it a habit to dwell in misery and have a persona of victimization–for happy people have developed a formula to successfully combat all of these things.
It is always easier said than done. But you have the power to uncomplicate it. Be encouraged to live unscripted and accept the ebbs and flow life tends to bring. You will find that happiness is hidden in all the little nuances. The Happily Ever After doesn’t have to be the conclusion of your story; it can be the RIGHT now.
Intuitive Intuition 