In every relationship, there comes a time when you are met with a fork in the road. The “cupcake” phase is now over. It’s time to decide if the person you have spent the last six to nine months with is the one you will build a future with. By this time, you have discovered their flaws and habits. If the relationship consists of any substance, you have come to know this person well and what you like and don’t like about them. You have to ask, “Should we move forward together?” This does not mean something is wrong with you or the other person. Still, the reality is that an evaluation must be done, and a decision must be made. A good person does not necessarily equate to a good and compatible person for you.
Hard conversations are worth having to progress your relationship. They are much needed and will ultimately determine if you should move forward as a unit or go your separate ways. Some complicated topics include finances, assets, whether you want children and how you would raise them, where you would live, and for some couples, intimacy. These topics can be triggering and uncomfortable. However, discussing such things is inevitable. To have relationship success, they must be had. So, how do you prepare for such a hard thing?
Be it to see it. Going into these conversation spaces requires demonstrating what you want to see. Entering these conversations and asking for what you cannot give can set you up for failure, so avoid double standards. Don’t allow your emotions to make decisions for you; try to keep them in check. When you become too overwhelmed, take a break from the discussion. Communicate this to your partner and resume when you are more level-headed. Keep an open line of communication. Be honest and transparent with your partner about your feelings, wants, needs, and concerns. It is equally important to allow your partner space to share their concerns…let’s be honest. You are not the only one who has taken note of the relationship thus far. Just as you would want your partner to acknowledge what you have brought to the table, the same respect has to be given to them. You have to be open to their feedback and remember that you, too, are flawed. Most of all, be patient. Many complex subjects require multiple discussions and are not typically resolved by one conversation. Working with a relationship coach to help explore and navigate challenging topics can also be helpful.
Never be afraid of conversation. Embrace the ability to communicate and the opportunity that communication presents. It will lead to good things. I’m rooting for you. 🙂
Intuitive Intuition 