In the fall of 2019, My ex said to me, “I told you before, and I mean now that I will be active in the life of OUR baby. I will do whatever I can to help as this time goes on.” That shortly came to an end. Before I had my first prenatal appointment, I found myself dealing with a breakup while pregnant.
Pregnancy can be complicated when faced with the reality that you will have to deal with it without the other parent. Pregnancy should be one of the happiest milestones a couple experiences together; however, it does not always pan out that way. But there is an upside. Just because you have experienced a breakup, it does not mean the pregnancy has to be something you cannot cope with it. You can get through it HAPPILY.
Speaking from experience, just because you and your partner are no longer together does not mean you have to deal with going through the pregnancy alone. Neither does it mean it has to become an experience you regret or not enjoy. While you do not want to impede on your ex’s parental rights, you also do not want to concern or stress yourself with if he will ultimately choose to be apart of your baby’s life or not.
The priority is the health of you and your baby. Do not let the anxiety of a breakup keep you from doing what is best for you and your unborn child. Below are a few tips that will help you get through this challenging time and make it a memorable and joyous experience. Some of these, I have personally tried and know that they work. Others are tips I received from other women who are experiencing or have experienced the same circumstances.
- Make sure you are receiving prenatal care. Consider if you will have a traditional doctor, midwife, or doula.
- Surround yourself with friends and family. A support system is essential, especially in the absence of your ex.
- Begin to date again. This decision will vary from woman to woman and will be dependent upon her comfort level, but pregnancy does not mean a woman has to forgo love and companionship.
- Join a support group. There are many women out there going through the same thing you are going through.
- Give thought to who your birthing partner will be. Consider a close family member or a good friend. If you have a new significant other, talk it over with them.
- Get a hobby or find something that interests you. Some ideas include sewing, taking a culinary class, DIY projects, yoga, a dance class, or journaling.
- Prepare for the arrival of your baby.
- Consider taking a birthing or breastfeeding class.
- Prepare your registry and set up the baby’s nursery.
- Pack yours and baby’s hospital bags.
- Decide what type of birth you will have: vaginal birth, natural birth (no epidural or other drugs), scheduled cesarean, unplanned cesarean, Vaginal Birth after C-Section (VBAC), scheduled induction. I am personally aiming to have a natural water birth, VBAC, considering that I have had a successful VBAC before. (Consult with your doctor, midwife, or physician to choose the best option that is right for you and your baby).
- Scrapbook your pregnancy.
- Get in touch with your inner self and find things that support your holistic wellness mind, body, and spirit.
The list can go on. You see, there is much to do and much that will keep you busy while you are awaiting the arrival of your precious little gift. Yes, breakups are tough to deal with and can be even more challenging when you experience it during one of the most vulnerable and hormonal periods of your life. But trust me when I say, you will get through it. Everything happens as it should. The best thing you can do is accept the breakup for what it is. Move on and devote your efforts and energy to what matters.
Intuitive Intuition 